June 22, 2015

Questioning?

Continuing on a theme....What theme? Why, the theme of one word titles with punctuation, 'cause you know, originality is usually not with us on a Moanday.

Sometimes we question the validity of what we do and who we are, or is it who we are and what we do?

I often question what I do for work and what I do for writing on a tri-weekly basis. Fortunately, most of the time I keep these questions to myself, which usually makes a pretty good conversation. Why? Because I have the knack of mentally multi-tasking what I do while at work. Work has become the be all to end all mind-numbing repetitive drudgery that a chimpanzee can do in their sleep. More often than not, I can phone it in with none being the wiser. I'm the best auto-pilot that money can buy.

Note to readers: this is not a woe-is-me blog post. This is simply an observational post. Nothing more and nothing less.

Anyways, I often do this kind of deep philosophical thinking at work for the aforementioned reasons. My brain is empty while I'm doing this, so I do have to find ways of keeping occupied. The validation I used to crave from work no longer matters. Office politics being what they are, I'm now resigned to the fact that all I really care about at work is putting in my 8 to 9 hours, collecting my paycheck and try to keep the vapid complaints down to less than 6 per week (agency has a ingrained culture of not accepting the word "no" and sense of entitlement stronger than a politician's desire to spend your money on frivolous things).

As for writing, I do question what I write from time to time, simply because what I write has been effectively neutered by the powers that be at work. In other words, trying to promote what I write is almost impossible (see this post from 2013 as to why) to do at work. So the best I can do is simply put up a small display of business cards and a small sign that shows (sans price) what I have out and where it can be found.

And trying to find the time to do any kind of promoting (either in the physical sense or the virtual sense) beyond what I do on the blog and social media is exceptionally hard. Again, a lot of it boils down to what I write. I'm very proud of what I write and if I had to do it all over again, I would do it the exact same way.

There lies the rub. I do my job, therefore I am exceptionally valued team member that nobody, save a few of my fellow co-workers, appreciates. However, I write and therefore, I'm a pariah at work. So to reconcile the two me's at work is usually somewhat difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. While I'm doing that, I go back and contemplate the original question in this post: I question the validity of what I write and I how I write it.

And that, my friends, is how we spend our days at work: there in body, but definitely not there in spirit.

And to end this on a happier note, I'm now waiting for CreateSpace to give me the final okay on the book so that I can order a proof copy. I should have some solidity by the next blog post. As much as I would love to show you the back cover, because it really is very cool, it's a PDF file and I cannot covert it to a JPEG.

(c) 2015 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.

12 comments:

  1. I can't really promote most of what I write at work either, but for different reasons.

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  2. "Mind-numbing repetitive drudgery that a chimpanzee can do in their sleep." That's just way too accurate. My wife works for the gubmint, and that sums up her job perfectly. And no, I wouldn't dare try to promote any of my books there.

    Also, that first proof finally arriving in your hands... ahh, is there nothing better?

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    1. What's ironic, if you think about it, is that we have a couple of small presses that sell there on a monthly basis...'course, they sell pre-school thru middle grade books and stuff. Inoffensive? You betcha.

      And yes, there is nothing better than that feeling of validity.

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  3. I know what you mean about melding the two together. I don't think all of my co-workers even know I'm an author. I do enjoy it, although there are days when arguing with stupid is fruitless.

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    1. I think less than one dozen of my immediate co-workers know that I write and blog. I really enjoy writing and yes, there are days/weeks/months where arguing with stupid is fruitless indeed.

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  4. I question what I do for work, too. :)

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    1. Such a deceptively simple question to ask, yet so hard to answer, eh?

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  5. I've had jobs like that. We do what we have to - but it's not forever. Send me the PDF!

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  6. Ugh. My work is very stressful right now (we're preparing for a round of layoffs, and even though my job is safe it's still a pretty horrible time) but I wouldn't trade it for a job that I could do in my sleep. I prefer to be fully engaged with a variety of problems to solve so that the day passes quickly.

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    1. Been there on the receiving end, and let me tell you, I do not envy you your job. Very horrible thing to go through.

      I would love to have a job like that. Where can I find one?

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