Yes, a party. We were shooting for this:
But instead, we got this:
Last Sunday (6/7) I held a cookout to celebrate my 50th year on this here globe. I invited all kinds of people and did all kinds of things to make the cookout a "don't whiz on the electric fence" moment (if you can guess the show, then betcha by golly wow you really do know your pop culture). For the most part, while it wasn't quite the electric fence party, it was a solid get together. However, there were a few pros and cons I would be remiss in not pointing out, 'cause you know, the older we get, the more we have less tolerance for things that get under one's skin.
Pros:
I had a lot of people show up to devour a ginormous quantity of food. I got some good gifts, the highlight being two tickets to a geezer rock double bill of Peter Frampton & Cheap Trick at Foxwoods in August, and weird one from a relative that consisted of a card and $20 worth of $2 bills. And I got caught up on what was going on in their world.
Cons:
Not counting the co-workers who gave me "maybes" for the day because they had things going on that day (close co-workers are always given a pass because they are just like family and you know what's going on with them on a daily/weekly basis) which totaled 4 (b-day party, confirmation, babysitting the grandbaby, injured) I had roughly one dozen no call/no show.
What bothered me the most about this was not only the fact that all of these people committed to me verbally/in writing that they were going to show but didn't but the way they went about no-showing. One said they were going to be there with their child, but didn't show, then posted pics on FB during the same time frame that the cookout was going on. Seriously.
Another family that we talked to during a b'day lunch at Friendly's (we had a booth next to each other) said they would show, but didn't. Then we have this kicker: a fave cousin of mine, who I only see during family get togethers, was having an argument with her mother (my aunt) and decided that not only was she not going to go my daughter's recital but not go to the cookout as well, nor was her husband and two of her three kids either.
The end result of all this bullshit is that I'm permanently soured on inviting most current/former co-workers to any kind of celebration as well as reciprocating any kind of invite from the aforementioned people.
This is actually the 2nd straight year that my b-day celebration got severely screwed (last year, son threw a tantrum at his sister and stormed out of the restaurant and walked home).
Ya know, sometimes, it's best to celebrate an important event just amongst your immediate family, because anything else will bring just headaches, resentment and disappointment. Even better, just celebrate it privately and with your non-judgmental online friends, because they won't blow you off after saying "yes". They'll just ignore you instead.
(c) 2015 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.
Well happy belated birthday anyway, G! That's terrible about the people showing up after they said they would. I always say about people in general that they don't know what RSVP means or that they don't think about the impact on the host having all that extra food and beverage.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteYeah, it's super annoying. We always go through this every year with my daughter's recital because the tickets are so expensive.(usually around $25 or so). I'm just seriously disappointed with those people.
That's so lame when people say they will be there and then just don't show up. At least call and cancel.
ReplyDeleteGlad enough showed up to eat the food.
And the phrase is from the Ren and Stimpy show.
Exactly. They both have my phone # so it wouldn't have been that hard to get hold of me.
DeleteAnd you get a huge lollipop for the day for getting that question right!
You know how they say to focus on the positive and not on the negative? Think of all the friends and family who DID show up to celebrate with you! Surely that means more than the asswipes who didn't.
ReplyDeleteI did. I was able to catch up on things with the people who did show up, and yes, that means more to me than those who didn't show.
DeleteI used to get infuriated by how flaky people were but now I just don't have parties! I wish people would just be honest from the start. "We aren't going to be able to make it. Sorry." You don't even have to give an excuse...just be honest!
ReplyDeleteI personally throw parties roughly about 3 times a decade. I threw one for my 25th wedding anniversary and most of the same people no-showed/no-called on that one too. I definitely concur about the honesty thing. If something comes up between the day of invite and the day of party, let me know. I'll appreciate the honesty and I won't think less of you.
DeleteI'm still playing the song over again! :)
ReplyDeleteI think I got a very good idea on what song you're repeating there. :D
DeleteI don't host parties anymore because of that type of hassle. :-(
ReplyDeleteI hope that your birthday was a happy one anyway.
It was a happy one indeed.
DeleteI rarely host any parties. My 25th wedding anniversary last year and this one was/is the extent of me personally hosting a party. Never again.
I should say, never again until either one of my children marry.
DeleteI don't know what it is about work people being flakes. I had a similar experience years ago and vowed never to invite work people to anything at my house again.
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday, and I hope there were some good parts!
I'm very leery about inviting my work friends (or any friend for that matter) to any kind of celebration. In fact, the last time that work friends actually attended a party of mine was for my daughter's first communion some 5 years ago.
Delete