January 12, 2015

Yes! It's The Mundane World Of G.B. Miller!

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Remember kids, the proper way to read the preceding sentence is to insert a three second pause between the first and second Blah. Just like Jack Palance in his version of "A Christmas Carol" set in the Old West.

wait for it...wait for it...wait for it....

I'm a anomaly in my particular age bracket (40-49), in that I'm relatively self-sufficient. I can do all the basic Home Ec 101 that was drilled into back when I was but my daughter's age in middle skool and high skool.

I'll pause here for a moment to let all the snickering and snide comments fall by the wayside before continuing.

whistling a tuneless tune

I've always been able to cook for myself, 'cause back in my childhood, a microwave was but a distant blip in the mind of a mad inventor. And I'm not talking about opening a can of soup or Chef Boyardee or can of SPAM either. I'm talking about cooking/making a normal semi-to-unwholesome meal. I've been doing this for myself for the better part of 30 years (yes, that includes the 25 years spend being married).

In addition to being able to more-than-competently find my way around a kitchen without doing my best impersonation of Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, I can also work a washing machine and dryer too. In my world, I had two parents, neither of which did laundry, good or otherwise. Because of that, I learned early on that if I wanted my clothes washed my way, then gosh darn it, I needed to do it my way.

Now I'm sure you're asking yourself, "Why is this even remotely a topic of conversation for the blog today?"

Well, the answer is pretty simple.
I am on Facebook, but for the past few...weeks, I've pretty much AWOL from there, which is mainly due to the fact that work has been kicking my ass from pillar to post. So on the rare occasion that I can actually get on, I mostly lurk and comment on other people's threads. Never do I post anything of consequence, or at the very least, semi-interesting.

After being on Facebook for the better part of six years (yeah, is been just that long), I've learned that if you want to get a lot of comments on a status update, you have to make it either 1} far fetched; 2} outlandish; or 3} stupid.

On January 10th, I posted a status update that falls under the heading of "Stupid":

You know your evening has gone down the tubes when you do an entire load of laundry with fabric softener. No detergent, just fabric softener
.
Remember the info dump that you read some twenty seconds ago? Here's where it comes into play.

I was doing my laundry that particular Saturday afternoon (I do laundry every two weeks) like normal. I put a bunch of dirty clothes in the washer, poured some detergent in, and went about my business. About an hour later, the load was finished, so I transferred that load to dryer and got ready to repeat the process. I put a load in, put in detergent and closed the lid. For some unknown reason, I decided to examine the bottle.

Within three seconds, I said to myself, "What the f?"

It seems like I didn't really wash my clothes, I only got them wet and got them to smell nice. Why? Because....what I thought was funky looking laundry detergent, was in actuality, fabric softener. So, we proceeded to re-wash the first load of laundry. And because I didn't want to waste yet another hour doing laundry, we mixed our whites with our colors and hoped for the best.

We eventually got our laundry done the next day, but that aforementioned status update garnered 10 comments and 11 likes.

So the conclusion I've reached with my highly unscientific survey is that the stupider your status update is, the more comments and/or likes you will get.

Especially if you're a guy.

(c) 2014 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.

12 comments:

  1. At least you figured it out before you dried the clothes.
    I knew how to cook and clean for myself before I got married. And I still do both.
    Although I did once wash a load of clothes at the laundromat with powdered dish washing detergent...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most definitely. I usually dry two loads at a time, saves time and energy. I actually do enjoy cooking, but it's tough when the family is kind of blasé about it.

      Powder dish washing detergent? So many ways to go with that one. :D

      Delete
  2. Hey, why do you think I just posted about my cat today? So much easier than actually coming up with something clever and satirical.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's tough when we have to scrape the bottom of the cookie jar, eh?

      Delete
  3. So that is how you read that phrase. I had no idea. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know, that's what happens when you are working too much.

    You know what else happens? You make coffee and forget to add the water.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup....

      Crunchy coffee is a very good thing. :D

      Delete
  5. My beloved spouse did ALL the cooking and cleaning the first year of our marriage. I kid you not. He let me sit around like a princess until one day I said, "Show me how to cook that....." and there I was in the kitchen taking on my wifely duties. He had been on his own for 15 years and was a much better homemaker than I.

    I know what you mean about Facebook comments....well blog comments too. We are all looking for fun and stupid.

    By the way, I am embarrassed to tell you that i lost the link for my prize e-book Broken Promises. Can you email it again please? Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not a problem. I will e-mail it to you again.

      That's very interesting. The best words to a long lasting marriage is "Show me how to do that."

      Delete
  6. I've noticed this with blogging, the more of an arse I sound, the more comments I get. And of course I don't find that hard to do! :D

    ReplyDelete

These days, the written word is to die for, so please leave a comment that shows me and everyone else the real you. All kinds of verbiage will be cheerfully accepted in the spirit it was written.