I's Gots A Routine!

Howdy do folks! Tis I, the queen of my master's humble abode, Holly! Today, G.B. is unfortunately suffering through the side effects of a major FUBAR* that was initially inflicted on him this past Friday (3/7). He's hoping for the side effects to disperse by Tuesday, so until then, he has made a call to the bullpen and called in his now number one reliever to make the start.

I thought for today, I would give you an example on how animals have established routines much like humans have established routines for certain things.

I am a creature of habit when it comes to eating my breakfast in a timely manner. When I sit on your chest first thing in the morning, that means FEED ME! NOW! Because I'm not a completely heartless feline, I'll give you a grand total of one minute to get your sorry ass downstairs to feed me. I'm hungry and I want my food now. Not two minutes from now, not three minutes from now, but now. NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!! Got it?!

Further more....AAAAIIIGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Hello there folks! Tis I, Yello Bear! And Yello Bears none-too-happy about his being usurped from his number one position, so I's have taken steps to remove the interloper from the premises with extreme prejudice.

Anywho, dat interloper was going ons about how animal's have routines like humans. Well, I's don't knows about yours truly, as the only routines I has is sleeping, waking up, consuming a dozen honey jello shots and if I cants get's my daily quoitient, then i's go on the prowls for monies to get my jello shots, has a set routines, but I does know that a certain furrball has a seriously annoying routine about stuffing its face at the same time every freakin' morning.

F'r instance, as soon as G.B. wakes up, she's walking between his legs so that he winds up tripping into the door. However, as soon as he gets his balances, she's running down the stairs to stuff her face. When he doesn't go down right away, she runs back up the stairs to bug him until he makes a move towards the stairs. Then she blitzes down the stairs looking to stuff her fat face.

Kind of rinse, lather and repeat.

And heaven forbid if G.B. wants to sleeps late, like because of yesterdays time flunctuations for example. The she sits at the bottom of the stairs screaming at the top of her lungs, MEOW!!! over and over again until she wakes up the ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD!

I mean, really, you have to wake up the ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD 'CAUSE YOUR OWNER ISN'T MOVING FAST ENOUGH FOR YOU???

And you wonder why no one really likes you, you self-centered heavy OCD tainted feline.

Fortunately, night times feedings is slightly less intorelable, in that the second she see's G.B., no matter what time it may actually be, she's already jumping on the windowsill looking for foods.

So there's you have it: two prime examples of animal routines. One that light on OCD and heavy on living for the moments, and another that is overly heavy on the OCD and light on spontaneity.

So mys questions for you is thusly: what kind of animals would you have for a pet?

*in all seriousness, I was drawn into a situation not of my making that I'm desperately trying to extract myself from. I wish I could elaborate further, but I am sworn to secrecy on this.

(c) 2014 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.