I had two phenomenal topics that I wanted to blog about this week, but I didn't know which one to do. On one hand, I wanted to write another post about another sin that we all partake in, simply because the first one I wrote about (smoking), got boffo page views and a double share on Google+. But on the other, I wanted to delve just a tad deeper about death, specifically on how we grieve. This particular topic stemmed from having to go to a wake/funeral for cousin a week ago (of which I've talked about the past two posts.
So I decided to flip a coin. Heads, I talk about another sin we partake in; tails, I talk about how we grieve. The losing topic will make its appearance next week.
And here we go....the winner is: tails!
The topic du jour today is: How We Grieve, Or Not Grieve
Last week I went to a favorite cousin's wake/funeral. I offered my condolences to her husband, her daughter, her sister and her husband, her brother and her mother. Then I said my private good-byes to her, said a little prayer and mingled with everyone else to share some happy memories and thoughts. As a rule, I do not do get-togethers, family or otherwise, very well. I have a tendency to be very uncomfortable in gatherings with more than four people, and more often than not, will not stay longer than a half hour, forty-five minutes top.
However, I chose to stay about an hour and a half. Why? Probably because it would be my one and only chance to express my genuine grief at my cousin's passing without people asking, "Are you alright?" I was very fond of my cousin and even though we weren't very close, I still enjoyed her company whenever she was able to visit and/or show up.
While I was genuinely sad at my cousin's passing (she was three years older than myself and shared the same b'day as my wife), I did not outwardly shed any tears for her. I wouldn't say I was overly upset over her passing, but it did grate on me for the rest of the week.
I wasn't completely ill-tempered at work the next day, but I had an extremely low tolerance for dealing with stupid that day, which has carried over into this week. The weekend brought more of the same low tolerance, but the one thing that I did do that weekend, was to avoid listening to any kind of music that would trigger a delayed reaction, so to speak. I actually enjoyed thinking about my cousin that weekend, and I felt I wasn't quite ready to shed some tears.
However, I decided to watch a movie that I borrowed from the library the previous weekend. The movie in question? 2012. An incredible tearjerker to begin with (I highly recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys a really good story that is centered around the concept of "What if?"), this movie eventually triggered the delayed reaction that I was trying to avoid that week.
Ultimately, that is how I grieved for one of my favorite cousins: by watching a tearjerker movie.
One last example on another delayed reaction.
Cartoonist Charles M. Schulz passed away on February 20, 2000 from cancer. On May 27, 2000 (this still gives me goosebumps to this day) one hundred cartoon strips paid tribute/homage to him and Peanuts by incorporating them into their strips.
I cried like a baby when I read the paper that day.
So my friends, how do you grieve? Privately, publicly, a mixture, delayed?
(c) 2015 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.