February 9, 2015

Vertically Challenged In A Bent Position

I've been having one of those months again, and it's still creating all kinds of havoc with my sanity. You know, those months. The kind of month in which you simply want to do a drive-by bitch slap on every single yahoo who is not your co-worker that has the audacity NOT TO ENGAGE BRAIN BEFORE PUTTING MOUTH IN GEAR.

The kind of month in which you really need a bathroom break song to find some kind of chi for your chai.

"Hey G.B.! What's a bathroom break song?"

Glad you asked. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the phrase "bathroom break song", here is a short explanation.

Back in the day, when radio stations used to play semi-fresh music and the jocks had brain cells, there would be the occasion where said jock would need to use the facilities. And since he or she was the only one there behind the mic, a very long song would be in order, usually those that would start clocking in at the 15+ minute mark. Like....

"Whipping Post (live)" by the Allman Brothers.
"Dazed and Confused (live)" by Led Zeppelin.
"Time Has Come Today (album cut)" by The Chamber Brothers.
"I Heard It Through The Grapevine (album cut)" by CCR.
"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (album cut)" by Iron Butterfly.

You get the basic idea.

Anyways, I got to thinking this past week (when am I not thinking) that it's high time I start doing something to puncture the ever expanding bubble of stress that has seem to encompass my waking hours.

So a couple of weeks ago, I decided that I needed to move forward, however incrementally, with my writing. In order to do that, I dug out from the dark recesses of my Timeline a well worn plan of attack:

1} Dig out the floppy binder that has one completed story and first four pages of another, and edit/take notes.

Like I said, I'm having one of those months again, in which not only every possible yahoo has bothered me to the point of wanting to do a drive-by bitch slap, but

Entering stage left is G.B.'s muse, who had decided to stop by this morning to see how things were going with her mentor, and suffice to say, she did not like what she was seeing. She quietly walks up behind and carefully places two fingers on his temple. Roughly a minute later she removes her fingers and frantically blows on them to kill the pain. Exhaling sharply, she quietly pulls out a syringe, taps it a couple of times, then jabs it hard into his buttocks. Shocked at first, G.B. quickly slides out of his chair to visit the ever popular la-la land, conveniently located on the ground. The muse grabs under his arms and gently places him on the ground. She lightly kisses his forehead, then takes a seat at the computer.

Greetings and Salutations to one and all! It is I, G.B.'s one-and-only-never-to-be-duplicated-in-your-lifetime muse, Nikkia. You've no doubt heard of me, heard from me, and seen me on his past two book covers, most notably, this one.

Now as you can plainly see and figure out from the preceding 340 nouns, adverbs, verbs and adjectives, that G.B. wasn't making a whole helluva lotta sense. So before he could inflict any more damage to three dozen readers that he has visiting on a weekly basis, I decided to step in and finish the job, 'cause you know, that's what muses do best: they finish what they started.

So after performing a small brain probe, which wasn't too hard since he does have a small brain, this is what he wanted to say.

"I am in a crossroads with my writing and my blogging. Work has reduced my motivation to blog and to write to the point where I now simply dread logging into my Blogger account or starting up my old XP computer. But, after internally bitch slapping myself for even remotely entertaining that kind of thought with my blogging and my writing, I decided to stop making excuses for not writing or blogging.

In regards to my writing, I decided to make a serious attempt at writing another novella. I have two completed, which are sitting waiting for me to move to the particular level required for each (one needs a better title plus another round of editing, the other needs to apply some good feedback from a beta reader before moving on to the next step). The story that I'm looking to expand upon was originally called "Rain, Rain, Rain" and first appeared on my closed short story blog some 4 1/2 years ago.

This particular story features one of my early forays into writing paranormal/fantasy which I thought turned out to pretty decent for the year in which this was written. You can catch the entire story at my adult blog by clicking on the title, and please be aware you have to answer yes or no before continuing and if you're trying to read this from work, chances are very good that you can't. The story itself features semi-graphic sex, no violence and strong language.

I have seven pages written so far and I'm shooting for at least two dozen/25K, whichever comes first.

In regards to my blogging, I have no idea on what I want to do with it. I'm thinking about mixing it up the text heavy posts with posts written around a particular music video or music related topic (both are one and the same). I don't plan on completely dropping out the blogging scene, but it's gonna take me a while to get back to the program of posting twice a week."

Well, that certainly was a mouthful, wasn't it? Kind of like me, except I'm an edible purrfection and he most certainly ain't. With that being said, I bid everyone adieu and hope you have an exceptionally sparkling Monday!

(c) 2015 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.


  1. You have a pushy muse.
    If you're writing, keep writing! Maybe just blog once a week. It's shouldn't be a dreaded chore.
    Ah, the great bathroom break song...

    1. Most definitely, but I like it. :D

      I'm thinking about scaling back to once a week until I can find my mojo again.

  2. Man, I wish I had a muse that would drug me up, gently set me down, and then take over blogging for me. :(

  3. Maybe you've been shoveling too much? I don't know how to keep to a blogging schedule anyway-
    Even my motivation has been challenged because of work lately. N shoveling.

    1. Fortunately, the only shoveling that I do is what needs to be done in order to go to work. Beyond that, the family uses a mini-snowblower for the powder and we have someone plow our driveway.

      Work is a major contribution to the lack of motivation, that I will agree with you on.

  4. I like the sound of that muse!

  5. Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd would have given a loooooong break back n the day! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    1. Ahhhhh, yes. I remember that being played a few times on the radio while I was growing up.

  6. You can do whatever you like - it's your blog! There is beauty in that freedom, no? ;)

    1. Yes, there is beauty in that freedom. But sometimes you have to balance that freedom with engaging people with nifty/provocative comment.

  7. It's difficult to imagine you at a loss for words. ;-)


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