September 19, 2014

A C.M. Classic: Post #1022

Time now, for the redundant portion of Father Nature's Corner, where we produce another post in the occasional series entitled "Cedar's Mountain's Classics", in which we take an old post from the original five year odyssey that was my first blog and retool, revamp, regurgitate, reactivate and simply reanimate to something very new and very shallow.

Today's classic post is #1022, dated July 8, 2013, entitled Medical Update.

The subject of said post was my lovely wife Joanne, who while camping last year, managed to fracture her ankle. Which in turn necessitated her having screws and a plate to hold things in place. The funny thing about this injury, if you can call a fractured ankle funny (g'wan, I dare ya), is that this is 2nd serious malady (besides giving birth) that she had to have surgery performed in the 27 years that we've been together.

Now me, I am not what you would call to be in perfect health by any stretch of the imagination. In the 27 years we've been together, I've suffered the following injuries: cracked rib, bruised sternum, lens implant, fractured knuckle (twice), tendonitis, cyst removal (twice), kidney stone, and knee drained. Add all of that stupid crap with my very permanent medical malady (no, not the sugar, the other), and I possess a body that even Burke & Hare would not touch.

So basically, I came in first for a race I did not care to run or win. Being first with most broken body parts in a relationship is definitely not what it's cracked up to be.

Nevertheless, I need to put a new twist on this post, so instead of a medical update on myself, which would be duller than dull, I give you instead, Tom Lehrer. Have a Happy Friday everyone, and make sure you turn into Monday's post for a very special announcement!

(c) 2014 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.

September 17, 2014

I'm A Guy, So....

I'm a guy, and as most you gals know, us guys rarely, if ever, admit defeat whenever we happen to be doing something that is far beyond our capabilities to handle, like running a washing machine. So the usual rule of thumb is to ignore warnings like those in pic because, hey, we're guys and know it alls, so reading a how-to manual to do something is way out of our comfort zone.

So as much as what I'm about to say pains me, I must reluctantly turn my back on my frat bros and say with the utmost sincerity, I am admitting defeat for Wednesday.

That's right, Wednesday has delivered upon to me a major ginormous whipping of my buttocks with a slimy wet noodle. For all intents and purposes, I must skulk back to my den and whip out from it's hiding place, the manual for blog writing. With shaky hands and a blend of a Bill Clinton quiver and a Billy Idol sneer, I must spend some time reading this all important manual, because you know, if I want to know what's in it, I don't have to vote for it first.

So my friends, with eyes wide shut and brain closed loosely, I shall partake and digest the verbiage of said book, 'cause you know, a sniveling Marvin is a dead Marvin. Except in my case a confused G.B. is an easy touch G.B.
(c) 2014 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.

September 15, 2014

More Suite Than Short, But 5' 5" Will Do For Now

Yeah, I know, major disconnect with blog title and blog content. It's Moanday, so please fasten your safety belts.

Life does indeed revolve around me, or in this case, revolve around this:

To whit, the following was either done or on the TBD list for this week.

1} Got manuscript back from formatter? Checkmate.
2} Proofread one last time before moving on to Smashwords? Not yet.
3} Got promo postcards for distribution? Yes, but performed a faux pas. Reorder was completed.
4} Got a few ideas for marketing? Check-o-roonie.
5} Update your book blog to let the half dozen or so people who decide to check it out that you have new product coming out? Absolutely!
6} Ready to pull your hair out with a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers because you have to proofread your novel one last time? What do you think?

In addition to all of those bullet points (note, bullet point #2 will be the death of me this week, so forewarned is forearmed) I'm also having a devil of a time trying to outline what I want to do for the two novellas I want to rewrite. Let tell you something, it ain't easy trying to figure what to keep and what to use when your rewriting something. It's almost enough to make me want to pull out my father's vast collection of music featuring this country artist.

In the meantime, please entertain yourself by either clicking on Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3, and please keep this one thing in mind: the writer of this blog was born in '65, came of age in the 70's & 80's, thus has a most peculiar sense of humor.

(c) 2014 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.

September 12, 2014

Shameless Promoing 101

Greetings and Salutations to one and all!

I thought for today's post I would use this blog to shamelessly promote me, myself and I. After all, it was almost some 6 1/2 years when I'd started blogging and the original intent was not only to pimp myself, but to pimp my adventures in writing as well as my writing.

So starting today, we'll shameless promote our writing at least three times this month in the good hope that you will find me and my writing interesting enough to investigate further. The first item on our action packed agenda, is my e-book trilogy:

Available @ Smashwords
Published in August of last year, Broken Promises was at the time my re-entry into the world of self-publishing. The main premise behind this trilogy was basic economics: I wanted to keep my name out there amongst the general public while I was deciding on what my next writing move should be. The stories that make up this trilogy not only were previously published in my defunct short story blog, but are what I believe to be the best unpublished work (non-blog related) I had at the time. All three stories were tidied, tweaked and polished to such a high glossy finish that I was blinded by its brilliance.

So, if you were ever curious about what I write or seriously intrigued about my definition of quirky fiction, then please consider giving Broken Promises a spin in your favorite reading device, because you know I got you covered in all the popular formats (save Kobo). You won't be disappointed.

Plus, now thru the end of September, if you purchase a copy of Broken Promises, you can save $1 off the classic hard copy of my soon to be re-released commercial debut novel. Just shoot me an e-mail copy of your receipt at the time of purchase. Details about how to purchase the original print copy of The Inner Sibling can be had by clicking on the link.

(c) 2014 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved.

September 10, 2014

Who Are You?

Ever have this problem?

You're standing at the counter of your favorite c-store (or any kind of small retail outlet for that matter) pulling out your wallet (or purse) to pay for your schtuff, when someone at the next register says, "Hi G.B.!" You look up, give them a puzzled look and either ignore them or acknowledge them with the kind of response that speaks volumes about the fact that you have no clue on who they are.

Or, say you're at work and a colleague that you barely know calls you by your first name and asks "how's things?" You can't simply give them the brush off, because quite frankly you have no freakin' idea on who it is that's talking to you, but you know damn well if you have a snappy comeback it will come back to bite you in the ass times ten. So you give them a rather neutral answer and hope like hell they leave you alone.